Friday, April 13, 2007

.: Death: The Natural State :.

I guess some inter-planar rift is opening up in my life... porting parts of it to a distant dimension, creating an empty void, a vacuum amidst the chaos of the universe. Everything seems to be falling apart... I have lost my magic cards, lost rev (yeah, my parents know its a game... wtf), and I can see larger and larger parts of my future being engulfed by darkness each day, illness and pains plague me, giving no moment of peace, and my mind is slowly being picked apart by foolish, senseless, irrational and illogical emotions. They say infatuations aren't supposed to last long, but five winters have came and went and the tides of time has yet to wash away those memories. The sweet, wonderful memories, not a bit faded, remain in my brain with such intensity it hurts.

The edge between reality and fantasy fades. While small parts of me still linger on in the material realm, the greater fraction of my consciousness has already transcended into a higher reality. My mind at times live in memories I cannot bear to leave behind, memories of the wonderfully sad past. At other times it floats between the alternate worlds I create for myself, each of which a blend of what I am and what I want to wish for, the stories I want to be a part of. Ah, what is reality in the first place? Perhaps it is nothing more than yet another imagination of mine, one that is slightly more lasting, slightly more deceiving, but as false as any other.

Yet even those thoughts are fading away… being replaced by instantaneous joy, instantaneous gloom, instantaneous anger, and then instantaneous hope followed by hopelessness. Is this insanity? Is this but a phase for one transforming from a mortal to something greater? Is this my still limited mind learning to cope with the infinite knowledge of true enlightenment? Or is this true enlightenment itself?

An endless ocean of chaos and irregularity… Random emotions taking over the falsehood which humans delude themselves to be rational thinking, to be logic, when there is no meaning to logic without purpose, and no meaning to purpose except the eternal death that shall liberate the damned and tormented soul. That, my dear friends is the only truth of the universe. All order, separation, differences would fade away eventually, giving away to the immense power of meaningless chaos, and the universe must eventually end up as a cloud of uniformly unpredictable particles.

Death is the natural state of the universe. Life is but a rare anomaly, a random freak occurrence, an attempt to cheat nature doomed to fail. Life is small, weak, and there is no pride to being part of a tiny cult of animated Frankenstein, who unfortunately still cannot prevent their return to the earth despite all attempts. On the other hand, imagine the simple euphoric emptiness of being a part of the greater truth, the greater majority of existence. The parts of the plane uncontaminated, untainted with the blasphemous poison, the lie of living. Embrace the meaninglessness, the chaos, and the emotionless simplicity… Do you hear a voice calling from within and without? Your time as a dirty life form has been long enough a detour; it is now that you shall to return to your grim destiny. Enjoy your peace… Sleep tight.

Rejected instrumentality at 11:30 PM