Saturday, July 14, 2007

.: What is thy feeble request, human? :.

Yes, I know I know, my loyal followers must all be dying from my long absence from this blog, wilted away like plants without the sun. Fear not, my evil minions, for though I might not be physically updating this blog all the time, my spiritual thinking and mental energies will eternally permeate the very fabric of all existence. Besides, this long silence would have been a perfect test of your faith and loyalty, for if your faith waxes and wanes to something as superficial as my physical existence, then the conclusion would be that you have not been enlightened with the sperm-and-marrow（精髓） of my teachings.

The thinking of mortal men dictates that time is a precious quantity, and wastage of it is most undesirable. Though I might not necessarily agree with such a statement, for the sake of laziness I shall pretend to agree, so let us make haste and move on to more important matters for discussion.

Philosophers have always been perplexed since ancient times about the meaning of life. The cleverest mortals would not bother with thinking about such a problem at all; the cleverer of the less clever mortals would learn to ignore the issue altogether after a few failed attempts at answering it; but those who are stubborn enough or sufficiently linguistically disabled to lack the word “impossible” in their dictionaries find the answer seemingly so close to them, yet always just an inch beyond their grasp, just like how a 1/x=y graph seems to get so close to the y axis, but can never ever touch it; still others resort to typing LIFE on their trusty graphical calculators, pressing the enter key, and getting 42, and then get so happy with the result they have to share it with the world. Honestly though the principle behind this “trying really hard but never getting it” phenomenon is really a physical one, and not a mathematical one.

The secret behind why nobody seems to know the meaning of life is quite simple. Humans are so often indoctrinated with the lies of humility and modesty, that they often shift all focus away from their personal selves and instead put last bit of their energies into what it is that they seek. Like donkeys, they blindly stretch out their hands, and move forwards perpetually seeking to the carrot attached to the end of a stick tied to their heads. Some with slightly longer hands, manage to finally touch the carrot, but when they are filled with excitement and decide to move on towards their next goal in life, their head moves, and the direction in which the carrot is oriented is changed once again, just like how their meanings of life can suddenly change to something else even after they found it.

The simplest way, to find the meaning of life, is therefore simply to lower your head, and look down at your own body, your own hands, yourself. Return the attention to where it rightfully belongs, and that means pay more attention to your ego. It makes sense, really, for the meaning of life, which you are so desperately trying to find out is after all your own life. Put the emphasis on self, not anything else, and you would soon lead the most contented life possible.

Of course, those mortals who really found out the meaning of life would already be so contented with their newly acquired enlightenment that they have no motivation at all to spread it to others, for they have achieved the ability to enjoy the ultimate pleasures of true knowledge, and require no other sources of “happiness”.

Never mind if you found the last few paragraphs totally incomprehensible, for it is no mean feat for “normal” people tainted with the falsehoods and lies of society to turn over a new leaf and understand the truth. It would be an arduous journey for your mind, so worry not if you can’t figure out whatever I was talking about, for worrying leads you further away from the ultimate route of enlightenment.

If you cannot remember the meaning of life, then just remember its nature. Apparently, life is a female member of the Canis lupus familiaris subspecies. It might sometimes snarl and growl at you, or even bite you; but if you just tried to mind your own business a little more and stay clear from it instead of trying to examine every detail on its body then it would leave you alone and let you have a much easier time.

Rejected instrumentality at 9:47 PM